First of all, no, I'm not preggo. But this whole post revolves around kids, pregnancy and such.
For those who don't know me, I'm single and I have no kids. I want kids. I really really want to be a mother. And I want to experience pregnancy. As I get up in age, I start worry about things. Being pregnant at 35+ puts not only the baby, but the mother at risk. I'm only 9 years from 35. Seems like a long time, but since the last year just flew by as if it was a month, I'm worrying a bit. I have good reasons to worry.
First, I am a pro at short term relationships. I've never been in a relationship that has lasted longer than 3 months. Ever. Around that time in the relationship, I realize I could never marry the person I'm dating and I end it. Sorry, but there is no reason to continue dating if it's not leading to marriage. I'm also super picky about who I date, so I tend to go out on a lot of dates, but only have relationships every year or two. My last relationship ended in February. I've dated 4 guys since then, but nothing that went past hanging out a handful of times.
Second, I only have so long that I will be able to have kids. After 35, the risks are just ridiculous, not only to myself, but to the baby. I don't know if I'd want to take those risks, which is why I'm going to do my best to have kids beforehand. Plus, I don't want people to mistake me for the grandma at my kids graduation. I want to be a MILF.
Third, I'm currently going through a cervical cancer scare. Most likely I'm completely fine and I don't have cervical cancer. But what if I did get some sort of infection or cancer or whatever and had to have a hysterectomy at a young age?? It's not unheard of. I don't want my chance at kids ripped away from me. Sure I could adopt, but it's just not the same as actually being pregnant.
Right now, my plan is to try the old fashioned way to reach this goal until I'm 30. Meet a guy, marry him, then have some babies. After that, I'm either going to have a kid with a friend or look into artificial insemination. Of course, this plan depends upon what my biopsy results come back as. If it's bad, I'm thinking I'll give my body a year to recoup, then I'm getting pregnant. One way or another. I want to have at least one kid naturally. If I do it on my own, I'll probably stop there. If it's in a marriage, well two would be nice.
Speaking of biopsy results, I should be getting those tomorrow. Cross your fingers everything is ok.
Well, Anna, I'm a dude - and this isn't a stupid Arnold Schwarzenegger movie - so I'll obviously never know what it's like to be pregnant anyways.
ReplyDeleteBut, I'm less than a year away from thirty myself. I know my mom once told me that she heard men continue reproducing at a much older age than women, but I'm also getting restless. I've always wanted to be a husband and father.
But, I haven't been taking the proper steps to obtain this goal - like finding myself first, saving up my money for a place of my own, getting a girlfriend, et al. After I get some financial shit straight, this is something that I'm going to work on.
But don't feel too bad, Anna. You said you never had a relationship that lasted longer than three months. Most of mine haven't lasted longer than three WEEKS!
I never knew that about women at thirty-five, though. But, whether you get pregnant or adopt, you will be that kid's mother no matter what - and the love will be limitless.
Guys can continue to reproduce and have babies until they die. There sperm basically never decays because it's constantly made new. So technically, you could have a kid tomorrow or when you are 80 and the risk of birth defects is the same. Women start getting high risk at 35 because we're born with all of our eggs and they start to get old and deteriorate with age.
ReplyDeleteMy mom didn't have my sister until 33, and me until 36. I suppose I was technically "at risk", and the doctors thought I was gonna be retarded, and I had those seizures and stuff, but I ended up okay. Scratch that. I ended up pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteOne way or another, things'll work out.
And dudemans, you don't have to find yourself. You know where you are: You've been there all along! You just need to get to know yourself better. Do things you enjoy, find out what you really want, that kind of stuff. The best thing I ever did was learn to love myself.